Elena Zvezdnaya

BE MY WITCH

The hut on chicken legs... different, not mine. The fox is huge, as tall as a man, and therefore in a green sundress and a kokoshnik of the same color, carefully adjusting the blanket, wrapping me up. Two Yagi at a table with tea, quietly whispering about me... I am curled up, lying on a bench, swallowing tears... Stupid, right?!

“You mean nothing to me!

But why then are you crying? Why are you crying then?

I mean nothing to you.

But why then am I crying, why then am I crying?

That's how I am now! He wasn't playing, he was in pain. And with great regret I have to admit to myself that it hurts me a lot too. It's like my heart is slowly being torn apart...

What would await me with Stuzhev - definitely a bed, initiation into a witch or whatever he wanted, and this mocking sweetheart... After all, nothing good... at all. Then someone explain to me what is happening to me and how long can I cry silently?! That very case when the soul demands to forget about the mind and circumstances... And the mind persistently repeats the cold, cruel, painful truth:

Little one,” the elder Baba Yaga sat down next to her, “stop tormenting yourself.” It couldn’t be otherwise, you know, it couldn’t be.

I understand... I understand everything... he’s a bastard, just a bastard, I understand...

In the evening you will be at home, with mom, dad and Romochka.

The tears flowed faster.

Do you want to stay?

She shook her head negatively.

Little one,” the witch carefully stroked her wet cheek. - Don’t be sad, Ritochka, if it’s your destiny to be together, then at least the immortal Herod will know that you are dear to him.

The tears have dried. Instantly. “If you are destined to be together, then at least he will know, immortal Herod, that you are dear to him”? An incredulous look at Baba Yaga, the woman smiled back.

Am I precious to him? - quiet question.

More than he gives you. - Yaga smiled.

Tea? - the witch interrupted me.

Crimson? - I asked in a whisper.

Mint, with raspberry jam and pies.

Pizza? - still in a whisper.

Yes, we didn’t have time to return before we ate it and the next three while you were crying.

Unscrupulous beasts! “I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chin.

Yaga stood up, took the cup and, returning, handed it to me. Peppermint tea is an amazing drink - warm when you drink it, leaving a delicious chill in your mouth as soon as you swallow, and very clearing your thoughts.

Take small sips and don’t rush,” Yaga advised.

I drank it - very slowly, unhurriedly, thoughtfully looking at the quiet stove... not mine, mine seemed prettier to me. Although it definitely needs to be whitewashed, otherwise it’s completely grimy. And in general, do some repairs and change the curtains, and...

“You come to your senses,” Yaga said with a smile.

In terms of?

The witch took the now empty cup from me, took the mirror from the table and gave it to me. She carefully turned the mirror surface, looked at herself and stopped breathing - white, milky-white skin, black curved eyebrows, long pitch-black eyelashes, fluffy, long and thick, like false ones; dark green eyes, pink lips swollen after all the sobbing, well, the nose is also red, where would we be without it... I am a beauty. Amazing, stunning and absolutely without makeup!

“Very beautiful,” Yaga confirmed.

Tears rolled down from his dark green eyes.

Well, what is it? - She carefully took the mirror.

And who am I now? - the question was difficult. - Witch?

You? - kind smile. - You are Margarita Ilyeva on Earth and the twelfth Yaga on Terra. The hut and fairy tale evil spirits remain in your household, and they need you, Rita. Very necessary.

“I’ll be on Earth,” she reminded, barely audibly.

Terra is your home, fire is your element, touch fire and think about home - the stove will take you to Terra, home or wherever you want.

I look at the stove in surprise. Wow, it’s a portal, and it also bakes pies.

So that’s why there’s a stove in every hut,” I guessed.

Not only. - Yaga looked at me with such a kind smile, like a beloved grandmother, without judging or teaching, simply accepting me as I am, - but it is the hearth that stores the power of your fire. - She stroked her hair again. - And the fire in your stove should always burn.

I'll stuff a dozen lighters into it just in case there's a fireman.

What else is interesting in my household? - I asked.

That’s it,” Yaga answered simply.

So, are we organizing covens? - Everything became interesting to me.

Actually, we don’t, but we don’t refuse witches’ invitations and fly to Bald Mountain. Again, talking to devils can be useful.

Yeah,” I thought and continued the interrogation: “Will I study magic?”

Certainly. - Yaga’s smile grew wider. “It’s not for nothing that the Scientist Cat has been assigned to you, and at the council we will arrange exams, as it should be.” To enter the circle, you need to study for a long time.

Oh, blah-ah-ah!

And how long do I have to gnaw on the granite of science? - asked carefully.

“You’re smart,” the witch began with a compliment and finished off, “you’ll manage in a hundred years.”

What? - I squealed. - People don’t live that long, honestly!

Yaga laughed cheerfully. And after laughing, she dumbfounded me:

On Terra you are immortal and you will always have the age at which you became Yaga. If you stay on Earth, you will grow old, but when you return here, you will lose the stamp of time every time.

Do not be surprised. - Such a kind smile again. “It’s always very funny to watch how a decrepit old woman, who remains on Earth solely for the sake of her great-grandchildren, who definitely need to be helped, sets foot on Terra as a perky girl.”

And then he dies? - I asked barely audibly.

On Earth - yes, here - no. We live a very, very, very long time.

And?.. - No, I couldn’t ask.

But Yaga in some unimaginable way understood my question and calmly answered:

Most of us are already native inhabitants of Terra, but four of us, like you, combine two lives.

It became somehow sad.

By the way, the Sabbath is coming soon, would you like to join us?

Of course, I said “Yes!” But it was cruel of Yaga to say:

Only if you pass the first exam.

And on the condition that you do not get involved with the younger Koshchei.

Three times a million!

In general, I remembered Stuzhev in vain... I immediately had tears in my eyes.

You are a very strong Yaga, Rita, but until the first exam you are defenseless,” the witch said admonishingly. - Until you learn to defend yourself, you should not meet with those who will take advantage of your defenselessness.

Another truth from Baba Yaga.

“I would leave you here until you learn,” the witch continued, “but your heart yearns to go home.” Mine will be torn with anxiety, but I have no right to hold you back.

I nodded gratefully and asked quietly:

Will my army idea work?

“She’s brilliant,” Yaga praised. - A regular army is an ideal option for protecting territories. Squirrels and hedgehogs are quite dangerous in themselves, but wolfhounds and dragons turn the Terran army into a real threat. So we will not only last until your initiation, we will be able to leave the swamps. Not all of them, however, your hut and the huts of four other witches will remain here.

When you return to Earth, they are vulnerable,” the witch explained.

Yeah. - A thoughtful remark.

However, an equally profound thought occurred to me.

What are you thinking about? - asked the witch.

About the fact that all little grandmothers Yozhka should start their careers with a prank,” she threw back the covers, jumped up, stretched and, stretching her neck, added: “Besides, nothing calms the nerves like shopping, that’s it.” I'll take the dragons for now, do you mind?

No. - Yaga looked at me with a smile. - Are you going far?

Not far,” I admitted. - To the border, then home.

* * *

The robbery of the century... I mean, cute.

Characters:

I am the main thief.

Cat Scientist - safety net.

A flock of swan geese is on the lookout.

Lisa Patrikeevna - additional insurance for the stream.

Gray Wolf is a burglar.

A horde of dragons hiding in the bushes is our cover.

Warlike Squirrels are in the wings.

Great Battle Urchins are in ambush on the other side of the bridge.

Location: the edge of a fairytale forest.

I repeat,” I whisper loudly to the raiding brothers, “I give the signal, the Gray Wolf indicates the place, and Ler the Fire-Wing burns out the passage for us.

Can I do it? - asked the dragon with a breath.

Dragon flame can do almost anything, and even more so, cutting a hole for you is as easy as shelling pears. In extreme cases, you will break the glass.

We, we will knock out! - a thin roar is heard.

March to position,” I command the squirrels in a whisper.

Urag arched his eyebrow in surprise, but walked towards me. The demon made a warning gesture, and the dark one stopped without stepping onto the bridge. Ignat himself frowned diligently, as if he was trying to understand something and couldn’t.

“By the way, question,” I continued with the most innocent look, “are you married?”

A victorious grin was reflected on the Uraga’s face, and he quietly said:

- Dairem, you will have to give in to your elders.

Ignat looked at me gloomily, chuckled and answered just as quietly:

- You won't have to.

Pouting my lips capriciously, I called out demandingly:

- Uragh Herard!

The dark one looked triumphantly at Ignat and stepped onto the bridge.

It was comparable to fireworks! I don't know how the firebird enchanted the bridge, but it worked amazingly! The bridge burst into flames, crackled, sparkled and... exploded with fabulous fireworks, scaring away all the birds in the area! Well, and one Yaga, who rushed headlong towards the house.

I ran very quickly, remembering the third dark one, who also did not stand still and rushed across me like a buzzing black tornado!

I slammed into him with all my might. She flew in, painfully hitting her forehead on the hard stone stomach, flew away from the blow and plopped down right on the path. And the dark one... the dark one stopped being a tornado and froze, looking somewhere behind me in shock. Having picked up the dropped book, I jumped up, turned to the spectacle that shocked the dark one, and... again dropped the long-suffering textbook of magic.

Because two people were crawling out of the river! Two wet, angry, blonds in burnt clothes! Golden curls scattered over her shoulders, snow-white skin sparkled in the sun, sky-blue eyes widened in shock. Both the hero Herard and the former Ignat stood and looked at each other in complete shock, and both were clearly hampered by the halo of sparkling curly hair! And their muscles are so fabulously swollen, and in general, if not for their hairstyles, they look like heroes! Not enough beards...

The next moment, the eyes of the dark ones widened even more, because both former dark ones, in places where everything was shaved to the point of squeaking, had a golden-red beard curling in small spirals! So this is where the epic heroes came from, who are powerful and cooler than everyone else!

But it would be stupid to admire the transformations of the dark ones! I bent down, picking up the book again, straightened up and rushed, hoping to get around the dark one. The next moment I realized that I was moving my legs in vain! The reaction of the dark ones was simply wow, and despite the shock, the third one managed to grab me by the collar and hold me while his two comrades grew beards.

“Not so fast,” the monster told me mockingly, continuing to hold it in the air.

“Yes, much slower,” I wheezed, suffocated by the collar of my shirt.

The dark one let go, turned me back to him and with a sharp movement wrapped my hair around his fist, blocking even my attempt to move. And I could only watch as both Russian bearded heroes flared up with black fire and became dark again - Gerard and Dairem. And then they looked at me at once...

“And Shaman King came to me,” I moaned, frightened.

- In terms of? – the enemy Herard asked angrily.

“I mean, I’ll die, become a ghost and lead a ghostly army against you,” I uttered a vague semblance of a threat.

The dark ones grinned at once, and the former Ignat said:

“This won’t happen to us in the next five hundred years.”

I remembered Stuzhev’s words about how dark ones love their toys and extend their life by five hundred years. I realized that Koscheevich did not lie! It got bad... completely. And very creepy and...

- What the..! – Uragh Gerard suddenly turned around, rubbing the back of his head.

The hand of the dark one clutching my hair squeezed, forcing me to scream. The next moment someone screamed... not me.

– What..?! – Dairem also looked around, also rubbing his head.

“Squirrels?!” – hope flashed.

– This... what is this?! - the dark one growled, holding me back, rubbing... let it be my thigh.

And then, all at once, and from behind all the bushes, it was heard:

- Attack!

And... mushrooms rushed towards the stunned dark ones! Terra doesn't sleep! Inspired by the support, I hit the dark one on the knee with all my strength, and as soon as he let go of my hair, wheezing, he rushed towards the house. She ran like she had never run in her life. And as soon as she ran in, she locked the doors and shouted to the mushrooms:

She looked out the window and froze - there are such stinking mushrooms, if you step on it, it will burst and such a grayish-blue foulbrood will disperse in a cloud. So here it is on Earth, and here the mushrooms attacked the dark ones with directed streams of rotten flow! The only thing missing was the shouts of “Fire!”

The dark ones were in a stupor for about thirty seconds, but as soon as they prepared to fight back, the mushrooms rushed away, jumping funny and scattering in different directions. And there were white ones, and toadstools, and fly agarics, and chanterelles, and even honey mushrooms! And... three enraged dark ones rushed to the house.

And I realized that I wouldn’t have time! I won’t have time, that’s all! These guys will catch up in the forest. I need fire, urgently!

She rushed to our kitchen, ran in and began hastily looking for matches. They had a samovar here, not an electric one. So there must be matches, or a lighter, or...

The door collapsed before I could even glance around the room. Then came:

– Carra esh, urag Gerard, uere, morak Usar, dekye.

Here you go - in one word! I tried to breathe, just breathe, and also move silently. And then my gaze fell on the self-assembled tablecloth, somehow unnoticed by my thieving army. Although it’s immediately clear why - it was dirty, crumpled and lying in the corner. I hastily grab the tablecloth, spread it right on the bench, hiding behind the table, and hear the door swing open. Dark!

In a hasty whisper I begin to beg:

- Tablecloth, dear, please give me a candle...

Heavy palms fell on my shoulders, forcing me to shudder. The dark ones moved silently, so I didn’t hear him.

- Usar? – I suggested.

“Morak Usar,” the dark one confirmed, and fingers with claws walked over my shoulders and touched my neck with careful stroking movements.

Inhale, exhale and don’t tremble, Ritka! Damn, how scary...

- And what are you doing? – asked in a weakening voice.

“Mm, nothing yet,” the dark one drawled.

The button undid itself, followed by a second one, and the shirt slipped off the shoulder. I was shaking, but I was holding on and it was barely audible:

“Skaterochka, dear, please give me a birthday cake with...” she faltered, “nineteen candles, huh?” Let's celebrate the beginning of my adult life.

The dark one laughed. The laughter was loud, mocking and with notes of triumph.

- Found? - came from the house.

“Yes,” answered the Morak Usar.

“Please,” said the tablecloth.

And a cake appeared right on the fabric spread on the bench! With cream, whipped cream, sprinkled with chocolate and nineteen lit candles! I heard Dairem and Uragh Herard approaching, or rather, negotiations in the language of the dark ones, laughter, as soon as they entered the dining room... I heard everything, but looked at the fire dancing on the wick of the candle closest to me. Like a hungry snake, my hand darted towards the candle, the fingers of the second touched the fire, and, closing my eyes, I whispered:

- Stove, stove, stove, stove... - diligently imagining the stove in the hut, and for some reason I thought that Stuzhev was right...

* * *

Roar of flames!

And silence…

I realize that I am still holding the candle and the finger of my left hand is licking the warm tongue of the flame. The smell of vodka and raspberries touched my sense of smell... I slowly opened my eyes.

To meet the eyes of the Navya god, widened in surprise!

And if he were alone here, panic would set in, as soon as I realized that there were many present in the wooden room of Koshcheev’s house - on Yan’s right hand sat the Snow Maiden, and next to her was Marya Koshcheevna, and there were also two men and two empty seats... And The table is set for dinner, only the dishes are all black! And from the depths of the house came a vaguely familiar hoarse voice:

“I have to find her body!”

– I DON'T WANT TO DRINK! - A scream that shook the windows. And then almost a groan: “I have to find her body... The thought that someone will touch her kills me... That she could be thrown out of a portal into a landfill... That things will crawl on her body...” The voice broke.

Something inside me also broke, it became so painful, even breathing hurt.

“She doesn’t care anymore,” Koschey remarked reasonably.

- I care! – Stuzhev broke into a cry again.

And I lost my nerve, my nerves simply weren’t strong enough for that anymore! I don’t know whose nerves would be enough, but not mine! Mine passed! Finally and completely! Mine were ready to climb into an embrasure, jump under a tank with a grenade, enter into conflict with gopniks, pass the exam as an external student and hit the dark one in the face, just not to hear despair in the voice of the always mockingly arrogant Prince. Despair that was killing me despite all the words of the elder Yaga, despite the arguments of reason, despite everything that I did not know about myself. But I didn’t know, couldn’t know, didn’t even realize that his pain would tear me apart!

And, not caring about her own safety, she simply screamed:

- Yes, I’m alive, Stuzhev! Alive, understand?!

In the next second, the only sound heard in this house was the sound of my heavy breathing.

But the calm lasted only a second!

He appeared in the doorway. I don’t know how fast I rushed, but not even a second had passed, and Stuzhev, breathing heavily and not taking his eyes off me, froze at the entrance. His hair is down, his black silk shirt is wrinkled, there is a wild roaring flame of rage in his eyes...

Such a growing flame of growing rage!

It was in vain that I yelled this to him, completely in vain, but I will scold myself... later. Now for some reason he doesn’t swear, he’s just very scared, and a frightened whisper escapes his lips:

- Stove... stove, please, take me! I actually just thought about him by chance, I didn’t want to come here...

- Hoo! - it sounded as I exhaled, and the light of my candle went out.

I turn my stunned gaze from the smoking fuse to the satisfied face of Ian, who has just most shamelessly extinguished my path to salvation, and the growing feeling of panic completely overwhelms me! Mother! I mean, the stove!

- Vodka? - suggested the god Navi, pleased with himself and his own intelligence.

“Yes, please,” I stammered.

From the generosity of his black soul, Ian poured me a full glass from the decanter standing next to him, threw a few raspberries into it and handed it to me, accompanied by a toast full of triumph:

– Happy resurrection, Ritka!

“Thank you,” I answered politely, took the glass and, throwing it all out into my impudent face, explained: “This is for a candle, you shameless bastard!”

Ian blinked dazedly, and most importantly, the alcohol did not burn his eyes, what a pity, and a thunderous roar came from the door:

- Oh, mom! – the frightened Hedgehog without a candle screamed in fear.

Although this will make anyone scream.

“Mom, I’m here,” the Snow Maiden corrected melancholy, smoothing the napkin on her lap.

“There haven’t been yagas in our family yet,” one of the men said, also with the most bored look, as if overly compassionate girls appear and disappear here every day.

“It’s not surprising, given the reputation of your family,” said the Snow Maiden with the sweetest smile, extending her glass to the person sitting next to her.

He looked anxiously at Marya Koshcheevna and asked with only his lips: “Does he know?” She shook her head negatively and smiled. That is, along the way, there is a collective deception of the Snow Maiden taking place here?! They have an original social unit.

Well, I couldn’t stand it anymore and angrily asked:

– What, does your family have a reputation?

The Snow Maiden looked at me in surprise and the whole Koshcheevo family looked at me very unkindly. Bony villains!

And the next moment a terrible thing happened - Stuzhev’s shock ended. Simply because the shock completely disappeared from his appearance, and I noticed the moment when the Prince slowly took a step. Slow and very smooth! Quite smoothly! This is how the snake unfolds its coils - slowly, very slowly, but so threateningly! And he clenched his teeth, and the nodules danced along his cheekbones, and his look completely changed, and I felt like I was under gunfire... And also...

“It’s s-s-cold, let’s-let’s not...” she begged, slowly backing away.

Ian looked at his brother and stood up, blocking his path.

“Ssstuzhev, you simply didn’t leave me a choice, I didn’t want this, I...” And a couple more steps back.

“Alexander, slow down,” Navi god entered the conversation.

The prince didn’t even look at him, continuing to incessantly kill me with his gaze, and I... I didn’t notice the moment at which Stuzhev rushed towards me. It was like in slow motion, where everyone was moving slowly, except Alexander... The chair slowly flew away, slowly soared from the blow to Yan’s jaw and flew with his back out the window, the man sitting next to the Snow Maiden slowly began to rise... And like lightning Stuzhev appeared in front of me!

The book almost fell out of my hands, and I picked it up and pressed it to my chest, completely losing the candle because I didn’t notice where it fell…. There was no way to look, because she was looking in fright at the enraged Prince! And he’s all huge, enraged, wildly angry, and has a look like a boa constrictor, and I’m small, cowering, scared, like a rabbit, and most importantly, there’s no way to escape! And it’s so scary that I can’t even breathe! He will kill me! It will just kill! He…

Somewhere in the background there was a crash from a fallen chair, the sound of glass broken by Ian’s body, the swearing of men, the cries of the Snow Maiden and Marya Koscheevna... All this was there, very far away somewhere, and here... Here Stuzhev slowly leaned towards me and found my lips with my lips...

A gentle, barely perceptible touch - and the book fell out of my instantly weakened hands... It fell somewhere there, and here... here strong palms grabbed my face, carefully and tenderly, and warm dry lips, as if not believing in what was happening, began to quickly kiss my face. mouth slightly open in surprise, nose, forehead, eyes, cheekbones, lips again...

Somewhere there, far, far away, everything becomes so insignificant, petty, unimportant, but here... Here conventions were torn apart, the arguments of reason were demolished, seemingly unshakable pillars of prohibitions were destroyed and all the vows given to oneself were broken... I don’t know in what the frantic moment of his stunning kiss reached out towards...

However, an equally profound thought occurred to me.

- What are you thinking about? – the witch asked.

“The fact that all little grandmothers Yozhka should start their careers with pranks,” she threw back the covers, jumped up, stretched and, stretching her neck, added: “Besides, nothing calms the nerves like shopping, here.” I'll take the dragons for now, do you mind?

- No. – Yaga looked at me with a smile. – Are you going far?

“Not far,” I admitted. - To the border, then home.

The robbery of the century... I mean, cute.

Characters:

I am the main thief.

Cat Scientist is a safety net.

A flock of swan geese is on the lookout.

Lisa Patrikeevna – additional insurance for the stream.

Gray Wolf is a burglar.

A horde of dragons hiding in the bushes is our cover.

Warlike Squirrels are in the wings.

Great Battle Urchins are in ambush on the other side of the bridge.

Location: the edge of a fairytale forest.

“I repeat,” I whisper loudly to the raiding brothers, “I give the signal, the Gray Wolf indicates the place, and Ler the Fire-Wing burns out the passage for us.”

- Can I do it? – the dragon asked breathily.

– Dragon flame can do almost anything, and even more so, cutting a hole for you is as easy as shelling pears. In extreme cases, you will break the glass.

- We, we will knock it out! – a thin roar is heard.

“March to position,” I command the squirrels in a whisper.

Two fighters, adjusting their helmets and wearing bandanas, stomped towards the forest. From the departing squirrels came:

- Angry, fuck...

“Witches—they’re all like that, ours is still good,” the second one answered authoritatively.

And here’s how to explain to my army that, looking at two fluffy retreating tails, I constantly want to giggle. And they also came up with these helmets for themselves - they found giant nuts somewhere, now they break them and repaint the shells green. Improve equipment, in general. And the wolfhounds envy them and want helmets too!

“Let’s not get distracted,” I said, more to myself than to others. – So, Ler Firewing breaks out the window, then follow the plan. We rake them up, tie them into bales, drag them into the hut and wait for me there.

- For a long time? – asked the Gray Wolf.

– What is “long”? - I did not understand.

“Well... a day, maybe two... No, one day,” I decided.

- I understand. - Cat Scientist closed his eyes and said: - Piss...

“Irodushka went for the balychka,” continued the Fox.

- Gad Zmeevich for cheeses. – The wolf dreamily stroked his belly.

“I’ll be back quickly,” I decided. - And let's start repairing the hut!

“Yyyy...” my army groaned.

Here are the lazy ones, everything is in the mistress.

“That’s it, I’m going,” she told the animals and resolutely climbed out of the bushes.

I walked around the house completely calmly, and entered without any problems - the door, however, creaked quietly. There was no one in the house! At all. No cute girls, no Georgy Denisovich, no even dark ones, and so I calmed down and began to carry out my plans.

Walking along the corridor, she came to the door in the storage room. A second, two - and I confidently entered. No alarms, no howling, not even a door creaking. But behind the door – King Solomon’s Mines in a folklore-fairytale style!

But I didn’t grab everything, I did something smarter - I walked through the entire pantry, went to the wall and carefully knocked on it. There was an answering knock from the other side, but to the left. I knock again and the answering knock comes closer. I knock again and voila: the wolf knocked very close. I hit with my fist as hard as I can and hastily walk away.

And I read somewhere that dragons have different flames - but to see it with your own eyes... This is the first time! In general, it was a narrowly directed flame, and with this fire the dragon cut a neat circle, about a meter in diameter, in fact, in the log wall. And when the round piece, charred at the edges, fell off, Ler, baring his toothy mouth, asked:

- Wow, great! And so neatly!

“I tried,” the dragon answered modestly. - Are we going to break the window?

“There’s no need anymore,” I smiled. - Well, let's start.

And we began a complete thorough and specific removal of all the property of the fantasy cuties. At first I carried everything and handed it over, then... I got tired of it! There was so much stolen here. As a result, we closed the door leading to the house, and the squirrels began systematically removing the property. The swords were folded in silk and velvet, tightly packed, and tied in the manner of a bundle. An hour later, all the dragons were loaded, and it became clear that the Wolf, Fox and Cat would fly home on a broom - there were no seats left for them, since four dragons were prudently left for transporting Warlike Squirrels and Fighting Hedgehogs. And some warrior’s armor remained ungrabbed, and I would have thrown it away, but the Scientist Cat said importantly:

- We must take it.

-Are they magical? – I asked, looking around the empty shelves.

“No,” the cat didn’t lie, “but I liked stealing.”

Thief, subspecies - beginner, diagnosis - already drunk.

What am I teaching people?

- Well, if you drag it yourself, you can take it - I’m generally a very kind Baba Yaga.

The fairy-tale intelligentsia looked at me incredulously and unctuously:

- Wolf, brother, come here.

Fifteen minutes later, the overloaded broom, creaking and wobbling, carried the Fox, the Cat and the armored Wolf into the horizon. The cat turned out to be a miser and even stole the curtains from the window and the supply of soap from the shower. The fox was more pragmatic and took out all the self-assembled tablecloths found in the house. The squirrels secretly healed the beer from me. I caught it only at the moment of the dragon’s takeoff - the bottles, dragged along with the boxes, clinked very characteristically. Silently she shook her fist at the squirrels, and an enthusiastic “Blah-ah” was heard in a whisper in response. In a whisper, because the instructions before the case were clear and precise - do not yell, only speak quietly.

The hedgehogs did not participate in the division of the prey, they were on the lookout, but judging by the looks at the squirrels... the tailed ones will have to share the beer among everyone.

In the end, the house was clean, empty and ready for renovation. Black dots disappeared on the horizon - my flying army. I had a book under my arm that the Cat gave me, with the words “When you arrive, I’ll check it.” What they would check was not specified, but I understood that it would check me, the book, and everything in general.

And here I stand, everyone has flown away, it’s so sad... And for some reason the black dots were replaced by black tornadoes. Three huge black tornadoes, flashing with lightning, approaching at incredible speed...

I stared blankly at the twists and turns of natural phenomena for a few seconds... Then it started to dawn on me... And then it was too late!

A huge whirlwind, thundering deafeningly, froze on the bridge like an enraged Demon. The one I thought was Ignat froze like a statue of rage. Darkened skin, pointed ears, a tight tail of long blue-black hair, a high collar of a long black cloak with a sharp ornament at the hem. The clothes are strange - a black shirt with green runes to mid-thigh, tapered trousers, high boots. And his hands with long claws, covered with black rings, were also frankly frightening. In short, he’s not cute, he’s this one, Monster Nye... Although not either, those are kind, but this one is simply Resident Evil, but in anime style.

“Ignat,” I also said, smiling sweetly.

There was no point in running anyway - they would catch up in an instant, but there was an escape plan: into the house, through a hole in the wall, into the forest, jogging, door, exit to Earth. No, theoretically there was still a chance with a lighter, but first I would have to at least read about teleportation, and I spent all the time removing Nyashen’s property. Two tornadoes approached the bridge, but the dark ones did not interfere, continuing to mow under the natural phenomenon.

“Rita,” for some reason the Demon repeated again.

- Ignat. - What, he can do it, but I can’t?

- Rrrita! “The slanted, absolutely black eyes began to narrow violently.

Well, I’m tired of all this, and therefore I brazenly corrected the proud:

- By the way, already Yaga!

But instead of anything adequate, Ignat growled again.

The most harmful of people is the fairy-tale villain. What to do if the villain falls in love? Not just anyone, but you? And not just a villain, but the grandson of Koshchei himself, who is not inferior to his famous ancestor in terms of harmfulness, malice and prudence, but he will have much more charm and arrogance. He is also a jealous owner, which he is proud of. And here neither an army of warlike squirrels, nor a hut on chicken legs, nor all the Yags at once will help. Yes, even a talking and educational tome will not save you.

By the way, do you know why a fairy-tale villain needs the passport of his beloved girl?

Elena Zvezdnaya

BE MY WITCH

The hut on chicken legs... different, not mine. The fox is huge, as tall as a man, and therefore in a green sundress and a kokoshnik of the same color, carefully adjusting the blanket, wrapping me up. Two Yagi at a table with tea, quietly whispering about me... I am curled up, lying on a bench, swallowing tears... Stupid, right?!

“You mean nothing to me!

But why then are you crying? Why are you crying then?

I mean nothing to you.

But why then am I crying, why then am I crying?

That's how I am now! He wasn't playing, he was in pain. And with great regret I have to admit to myself that it hurts me a lot too. It's like my heart is slowly being torn apart...

What would await me with Stuzhev - definitely a bed, initiation into a witch or whatever he wanted, and this mocking sweetheart... After all, nothing good... at all. Then someone explain to me what is happening to me and how long can I cry silently?! That very case when the soul demands to forget about the mind and circumstances... And the mind persistently repeats the cold, cruel, painful truth:

Little one,” the elder Baba Yaga sat down next to her, “stop tormenting yourself.” It couldn’t be otherwise, you know, it couldn’t be.

I understand... I understand everything... he’s a bastard, just a bastard, I understand...

In the evening you will be at home, with mom, dad and Romochka.

The tears flowed faster.

Do you want to stay?

She shook her head negatively.

Little one,” the witch carefully stroked her wet cheek. - Don’t be sad, Ritochka, if it’s your destiny to be together, then at least the immortal Herod will know that you are dear to him.

The tears have dried. Instantly. “If you are destined to be together, then at least he will know, immortal Herod, that you are dear to him”? An incredulous look at Baba Yaga, the woman smiled back.

Am I precious to him? - quiet question.

More than he gives you. - Yaga smiled.

Tea? - the witch interrupted me.

Crimson? - I asked in a whisper.

Mint, with raspberry jam and pies.

Pizza? - still in a whisper.

Yes, we didn’t have time to return before we ate it and the next three while you were crying.

Unscrupulous beasts! “I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chin.

Yaga stood up, took the cup and, returning, handed it to me. Peppermint tea is an amazing drink - warm when you drink it, leaving a delicious chill in your mouth as soon as you swallow, and very clearing your thoughts.

Take small sips and don’t rush,” Yaga advised.

I drank it - very slowly, unhurriedly, thoughtfully looking at the quiet stove... not mine, mine seemed prettier to me. Although it definitely needs to be whitewashed, otherwise it’s completely grimy. And in general, do some repairs and change the curtains, and...

“You come to your senses,” Yaga said with a smile.

The witch took the now empty cup from me, took the mirror from the table and gave it to me. She carefully turned the mirror surface, looked at herself and stopped breathing - white, milky-white skin, black curved eyebrows, long pitch-black eyelashes, fluffy, long and thick, like false ones; dark green eyes, pink lips swollen after all the sobbing, well, the nose is also red, where would we be without it... I am a beauty. Amazing, stunning and absolutely without makeup!

“Very beautiful,” Yaga confirmed.

Tears rolled down from his dark green eyes.

Well, what is it? - She carefully took the mirror.

And who am I now? - the question was difficult. - Witch?

You? - kind smile. - You are Margarita Ilyeva on Earth and the twelfth Yaga on Terra. The hut and fairy tale evil spirits remain in your household, and they need you, Rita. Very necessary.

“I’ll be on Earth,” she reminded, barely audibly.

Terra is your home, fire is your element, touch fire and think about home - the stove will take you to Terra, home or wherever you want.

I look at the stove in surprise. Wow, it’s a portal, and it also bakes pies.

So that’s why there’s a stove in every hut,” I guessed.

Not only. - Yaga looked at me with such a kind smile, like a beloved grandmother, without judging or teaching, simply accepting me as I am, - but it is the hearth that stores the power of your fire. - She stroked her hair again. - And the fire in your stove should always burn.

Elena Zvezdnaya

Be my witch

© Zvezdnaya E., 2014

© Design. Eksmo Publishing House LLC, 2014

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet or corporate networks, for private or public use without the written permission of the copyright owner.

© The electronic version of the book was prepared by liters company (www.litres.ru)

* * *

The hut on chicken legs... different, not mine. The fox is huge, as tall as a man, and therefore in a green sundress and a kokoshnik of the same color, carefully adjusting the blanket, wrapping me up. Two Yagi at a table with tea, quietly whispering about me... I am curled up, lying on a bench, swallowing tears... Stupid, right?!

“You mean nothing to me!

- But why are you crying then? Why are you crying then?

- I mean nothing to you.

“But why then am I crying, why then am I crying?”

That's how I am now! He wasn't playing, he was in pain. And with great regret I have to admit to myself that it hurts me a lot too. It's like my heart is slowly being torn apart...

What would await me with Stuzhev - definitely a bed, initiation into a witch or whatever he wanted, and this mocking sweetheart... After all, nothing good... at all. Then someone explain to me what is happening to me and how long can I cry silently?! That very case when the soul demands to forget about the mind and circumstances... And the mind persistently repeats the cold, cruel, painful truth.

“Little one,” the elder Baba Yaga sat down next to her, “stop tormenting yourself.” It couldn’t be otherwise, you know, it couldn’t be.

I understand... I understand everything... he’s a bastard, just a bastard, I understand...

- In the evening you will be at home, with mom, dad and Romochka.

The tears flowed faster.

– Do you want to stay?

She shook her head negatively.

“Little one,” the witch carefully stroked her wet cheek. “Don’t be sad, Ritochka, if it’s your destiny to be together, then at least the immortal Herod will know that you are dear to him.”

The tears have dried. Instantly. “If you are destined to be together, then at least he will know, immortal Herod, that you are dear to him”? An incredulous look at Baba Yaga, the woman smiled back.

- Am I precious to him? - quiet question.

- More than he gives you. – Yaga smiled.

- Tea? – the witch interrupted me.

- Raspberry? – I asked in a whisper.

– Mint, with raspberry jam and pies.

- Pizza? - still in a whisper.

“Yes, we didn’t have time to return before we ate it and the next three while you were crying.”

- Unscrupulous beasts! “I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chin.

Yaga stood up, took the cup and, returning, handed it to me. Mint tea is an amazing drink - warm when you drink it, leaving a delicious chill in your mouth as soon as you swallow, and very clearing your thoughts.

“Take small sips and don’t rush,” Yaga advised.

I drank it - very slowly, unhurriedly, thoughtfully looking at the quiet stove... not mine, mine seemed prettier to me. Although it definitely needs to be whitewashed, otherwise it’s completely grimy. And in general, do some repairs and change the curtains, and...

“You’re coming to your senses,” Yaga said with a smile.

- In terms of?

The witch took the now empty cup from me, took the mirror from the table and gave it to me. She carefully turned the mirror surface, looked at herself and stopped breathing - white, milky-white skin, black curved eyebrows, long pitch-black eyelashes, fluffy, long and thick, like false ones; dark green eyes, pink lips swollen after all the sobbing, well, the nose is also red, where would we be without it... I am a beauty. Amazing, stunning and absolutely without makeup!

“Very beautiful,” Yaga confirmed.

Tears rolled down from his dark green eyes.

- Well, what is it? “She carefully took the mirror.

- And who am I now? – the question was difficult to answer. - Witch?

- You? - kind smile. – You are Margarita Ilyeva on Earth and the twelfth Yaga on Terra. The hut and fairy tale evil spirits remain in your household, and they need you, Rita. Very necessary.

“I’ll be on Earth,” she reminded, barely audibly.

- Terra is your home, fire is your element, touch fire and think about home - the stove will take you to Terra, home or wherever you want.

I look at the stove in surprise. Wow, it’s a portal, and it also bakes pies.

“So that’s why there’s a stove in every hut,” I guessed.

- Not only. “Yaga looked at me with such a kind smile, like a beloved grandmother, without judging or teaching, simply accepting me as I am, but it is the hearth that stores the power of your fire. “She stroked her hair again. “And the fire in your stove should always burn.”

I'll stuff a dozen lighters into it just in case there's a fireman.

– What else is curious about my household? – I asked.

“That’s it,” Yaga answered simply.

- So, are we organizing covens? – Everything became interesting to me.

– Actually, we don’t, but we don’t refuse witches’ invitations and fly to Bald Mountain. Again, talking to devils can be useful.

“Yeah,” I thought and continued the interrogation: “Will I study magic?”

- Certainly. – Yaga’s smile grew wider. “It’s not for nothing that the Scientist Cat was assigned to you, and at the council we will arrange exams, as it should be.” To enter the circle, you need to study for a long time.

Oh, blah-ah-ah!

– And how long do I have to gnaw on the granite of science? – asked carefully.

“You’re smart,” the witch began with a compliment and finished, “you’ll manage in a hundred years.”

- What? – I squealed. – People don’t live that long, honestly!

Yaga laughed cheerfully. And after laughing, she dumbfounded me:

– On Terra you are immortal and you will always have the age at which you became Yaga. If you stay on Earth, you will grow old, but when you return here, you will lose the stamp of time every time.

- Do not be surprised. – Such a kind smile again. “It’s always very funny to watch how a decrepit old woman, who remains on Earth solely for the sake of her great-grandchildren, who definitely need to be helped, sets foot on Terra as a perky girl.”

- And then he dies? – I asked barely audibly.

– On Earth - yes, here - no. We live a very, very, very long time.

– And?.. – No, I couldn’t ask.

But Yaga in some unimaginable way understood my question and calmly answered:

– Most of us are already native inhabitants of Terra, but four, like you, combine two lives.

It became somehow sad.

- By the way, the Sabbath is coming soon, would you like to join us?

Of course, I said “Yes!” But it was cruel of Yaga to say:

-Only if you pass the first exam.

- And on the condition that you do not get involved with the younger Koshchei.

Three times a million!

In general, I remembered Stuzhev in vain... I immediately had tears in my eyes.

“You are a very strong Yaga, Rita, but until the first exam you are defenseless,” the witch said instructively. – Until you learn to protect yourself, you should not meet with those who will take advantage of your defenselessness.

Another truth from Baba Yaga.

“I would leave you here until you learn,” the witch continued, “but your heart yearns to go home.” Mine will be torn with anxiety, but I have no right to hold you back.

I nodded gratefully and asked quietly:

– Will my idea with the army work?

“She’s brilliant,” Yaga praised. – A regular army is an ideal option for protecting territories. Squirrels and hedgehogs are dangerous enough on their own, but wolfhounds and dragons turn the Terran army into a real threat. So we will not only last until your initiation, we will be able to leave the swamps. Not all of them, however, your hut and the huts of four other witches will remain here.

- Why?

“When you return to Earth, they are vulnerable,” the witch explained.

- Yeah. - A thoughtful remark.

However, an equally profound thought occurred to me.

- What are you thinking about? – the witch asked.

“The fact that all little grandmothers Yozhka should start their careers with pranks,” she threw back the covers, jumped up, stretched and, stretching her neck, added: “Besides, nothing calms the nerves like shopping, here.” I'll take the dragons for now, do you mind?

- No. – Yaga looked at me with a smile. – Are you going far?

“Not far,” I admitted. - To the border, then home.

* * *

The robbery of the century... I mean, cute.

Characters:

I am the main thief.

Cat Scientist is a safety net.

A flock of swan geese is on the lookout.

Lisa Patrikeevna – additional insurance for the stream.

Gray Wolf is a burglar.

A horde of dragons hiding in the bushes is our cover.

Warlike Squirrels are in the wings.

Great Battle Urchins are in ambush on the other side of the bridge.

Location: the edge of a fairytale forest.

“I repeat,” I whisper loudly to the raiding brothers, “I give the signal, the Gray Wolf indicates the place, and Ler the Fire-Wing burns out the passage for us.”

- Can I do it? – the dragon asked breathily.

– Dragon flame can do almost anything, and even more so, cutting a hole for you is as easy as shelling pears. In extreme cases, you will break the glass.

- We, we will knock it out! – a thin roar is heard.

“March to position,” I command the squirrels in a whisper.

Two fighters, adjusting their helmets and wearing bandanas, stomped towards the forest. From the departing squirrels came:

- Angry, fuck...

“Witches—they’re all like that, ours is still good,” the second one answered authoritatively.

And here’s how to explain to my army that, looking at two fluffy retreating tails, I constantly want to giggle. And they also came up with these helmets for themselves - they found giant nuts somewhere, now they break them and repaint the shells green. Improve equipment, in general. And the wolfhounds envy them and want helmets too!